leave the pieces

after doing some self-reflection (i.e. reviewing past blogs and my journal) i notice i have a habit of blogging/writing around this general time of year about my hope for the coming year (also i have some reoccuring themes that need to stop occuring...)  my thought is that perhaps instead of starting my new year on january first, maybe i should create a fiscal year for myself.  that way my new year starts at a different time.  i seem to do ok on my ideas and goals til about half way through the year.  then life happens and the last part of the year i spend looking forward to the end of the year so i can start over.  well, this is kind of a crappy way to live, if you ask me (you did ask, right?)

i know that most well-meaning people would affirm and validate my frustrations of the last several years.  The last decade of my life has been...well...just like the average person's i suppose.  it's had its ups and downs and fair share of stuggles and disappointments.  but honestly, i want a whole heck of a lot more than 'this year will be better!'  the reality is that it may or may not be better.  all my dreams may not come true.  and crap happens.  

so, what am i gonna do about it?  well, i don't quite know.  but admitting you have a problem is the first step, right?  i think (hope?) that i'm in for some changes this year.  some may affect me, some will affect others more directly than myself (my brother-in-law is coming home...so that's gonna rock my sister's world and will affect our relationship as i know it), and others will probably come out of left field.  perhaps this year will be more about having the serenity to accept the things i cannot change; the courage to change the things i can; and the wisdom to know know the difference (hmmm...that has a familiar ring to it...)

despite the cliche sense of that familiar prayer, there's a lot of truth to it.  I hope to spend more time living in the will of God (instead of questioning it or placing it on the backburner).  I would like to truly engage myself in the things that make me happy...not in a selfish way, but in the sense that when i'm doing the things that God gave me the talent and desire for then not only am i living in his will...my life and relationships are oh so much better.

my hope and prayers for you are the same.  i love to see my loved ones achieve their hopes and dreams.  from the little things to the great big, life altering things.  

cheers, peeps!

here i go again

i have a new motto (cuz i'm lacking so much in mottos, theories, and whatnot), 'those who don't date, craft'. yep. i've decided to take ownership of my crafty ways. why not? if you got it, flaunt it, right?

i have to admit that i've been somewhat of a closet crafter. ok, not so much to those who know me or have received any of my handmade goods. some have been disastrous* (um...i believe it was valentines day 1990 that i decided i needed to make handmade, stamped valentines for my whole class. that was not the first, nor the last time, i was up until all hours cramming to fulfill my 'genius' plan).

it all started as a very young girl whose mother is also a craft junkie...who got it from her mother. holidays were spent concocting what i was going to make everyone for christmas (oh and i've done so many different, cheesy cmas gifts...). summers were spent with my grandmother doing ceramics, cross-stitch, and painting those plastic stained glass thingies. it wasn't until recently that i realized not everyone did that. i have a fond memory of my mother having an exorcist-head-spinning moment in ikea a couple years ago when we overheard a woman asking an employee what people did with the fabric-by-the-yard that could be purchased. 'you mean, you can make stuff with it!?' no worries though...my mother did not tackle the poor, ignorant woman...but we did have to quickly walk away.

i do feel that my crafting, and perhaps the art of crafting (it can be an art, people!) has definitely taken on a bit more sophistication and acceptance among a new generation. then again, i could just be trying to rationalize my nerdy-ness for a sense of affirmation. *sigh* ah well.

what was i saying? oh yes...so, crafting in the 21st century has definitely become a whole new ballgame. there are lots of blogs and websites, new ideas, new fabric designers (a la amy butler, etc), there are websites dedicated to retailing handmade goods. it's not all toilet paper cozies anymore! (thank goodness...i mean, why does your tp have to stay 'cozy'?) There are definitely still a lot of scary things out there...but also a lot of cool things. i could go on and on...but um, i've got stuff to do. christmas will be here before i know it!!

(i didn't just confirm my singleness for the rest of my life, did i? well, i suppose i can make socks, scarves, blankets, etc to keep me warm at night. somebody please stop me before i start collecting cats....)


*another disastrous craft is a white hankerchief that my dad *still* has that i drew his picture on when i was probably all of 5 years old. i believe it's a stick figure and i was going through a phase where i was attempting to capture the true likeness of a nose, nostrils and all. so, yes, friends...it looks like a pig nose. that was probably the last time i attempted to draw something for someone.