leave the pieces

after doing some self-reflection (i.e. reviewing past blogs and my journal) i notice i have a habit of blogging/writing around this general time of year about my hope for the coming year (also i have some reoccuring themes that need to stop occuring...)  my thought is that perhaps instead of starting my new year on january first, maybe i should create a fiscal year for myself.  that way my new year starts at a different time.  i seem to do ok on my ideas and goals til about half way through the year.  then life happens and the last part of the year i spend looking forward to the end of the year so i can start over.  well, this is kind of a crappy way to live, if you ask me (you did ask, right?)

i know that most well-meaning people would affirm and validate my frustrations of the last several years.  The last decade of my life has been...well...just like the average person's i suppose.  it's had its ups and downs and fair share of stuggles and disappointments.  but honestly, i want a whole heck of a lot more than 'this year will be better!'  the reality is that it may or may not be better.  all my dreams may not come true.  and crap happens.  

so, what am i gonna do about it?  well, i don't quite know.  but admitting you have a problem is the first step, right?  i think (hope?) that i'm in for some changes this year.  some may affect me, some will affect others more directly than myself (my brother-in-law is coming home...so that's gonna rock my sister's world and will affect our relationship as i know it), and others will probably come out of left field.  perhaps this year will be more about having the serenity to accept the things i cannot change; the courage to change the things i can; and the wisdom to know know the difference (hmmm...that has a familiar ring to it...)

despite the cliche sense of that familiar prayer, there's a lot of truth to it.  I hope to spend more time living in the will of God (instead of questioning it or placing it on the backburner).  I would like to truly engage myself in the things that make me happy...not in a selfish way, but in the sense that when i'm doing the things that God gave me the talent and desire for then not only am i living in his will...my life and relationships are oh so much better.

my hope and prayers for you are the same.  i love to see my loved ones achieve their hopes and dreams.  from the little things to the great big, life altering things.  

cheers, peeps!