sometimes inspiration strikes at the oddest times. i.e. while brushing my teeth. seriously...i was brushing my teeth and had an aha! moment. ok, it wasn't so much 'aha!' as it was 'hmm?'
so, i have dear single friend i was driving with the other night. and i'm not even sure how it came up, but our conversation turned to online dating, in which we have both dabbled in the past...very unsuccessfully. in dealing with a frustrating boy situation she made an off-hand remark to the effect of, 'i'm at the point of going back to online dating.' translating to, 'things are so not good, that i'm at the point of facing a frustrating, somewhat humiliating, cattle call, and clinical approach to dating.' this is a sad state of affairs. and i don't know about this friend, but inevitably, if someone in my world is brave enough to bring up the 'why are you still single?' subject of conversation they try to delicately ask me if i've tried online dating. ah yes. the hush hush, i-know-it's-embarrassing-but-so-and-so's-daughter's-best friend's-cousin-met-someone-online-and-they-got-married-last-year conversation. good times.
being single for a decade offers one more time than is really healthy to chew on, process, digest, analyze and all but go crazy. it's a sickness. (i've also learned that there will be no cure. even if i do end up with prince charming, i know i'll continue in my silly, crazy ways because i'm cool like that).
here was my profound, teeth-brushing thought: 'what if you can't afford online dating?' literally. it's expensive, people! and not even just online stuff, there's speed dating, 'it's just lunch' lunches, match makers, social mixers. this stuff is not free! and it's exhausting. asking and answering the same questions over and over. do you like to travel? (um...yeah.) what's your favorite color? (depends on what it's for and the day) what's your favorite music? (depends on the day and my mood) what's your favorite movie (i have like 20 favorite movies) what's your favorite restaurant? (depends on what i'm craving). are we seeing a problem here? other than i have decision making problems.
what if you're just a normal(-ish) girl, who's trying to live life to the best of her ability (with the help of Jesus whom she loves. uh-oh. she's one of those Christians who goes to church regularly and means it!), is completely oblivious but likes to observe, and is terrified of even letting on that she might like somebody because they could find out (and then it's just awkward and he runs away screaming like a little girl never to return). and holy cow...is so tired of trying to figure out if some guy might like her. (the answer is maybe. then he meets someone else whom he will most likely marry. it happens. all. the. time.)
and seriously, if someone says to me something to the tune of 'some guy will be lucky to have you' or 'you're still young' or 'some day you'll meet your perfect match'...blah blah blah. i might cut you. (i learned that from a friend and i think it succinctly gets the point across) i've been hearing those lines since i was 14. while they might be true, they make me want to sucker punch people, and that's just not very nice.
hmm...maybe i have some anger issues to work on.
3 comments:
I'd drink to this post with you:-)
i'd take you up on that offer! :)
Wait until you've added 15-20 years to your single life and then come talk to me. Sorry that isn't a very positive thought. Anyway, the line that sends me over the edge is as follows...."You're still single? Wow, you must be REALLY independent!" As you so succinctly put it, it makes me want to cut them. On a very few occasions, I have replied, "Does that mean that since you are married you are REALLY dependent." Sometimes they are so taken aback that they don't catch my response is based on their lack of tact, sensitivity, and their downright rudeness. So, here is my suggestion to all you 20- or 30-ish single gals (and guys). Look at all marriages around you and then take a closer look at why and how these folks ended up married. Unfortunately, many of them won't be married in 5, 10, or 15 years. Some of them will have kids that end up living in broken homes. BE THANKFUL EVERYDAY that the Lord has given you discernment when it comes to finding your spouse and the wisdom to use that discernment. Ask Him to provide your spouse. Don't overanalyze why you are still single while some of your friends are married. I promise you that overanalyzing will make you either 1) depressed or, 2) crazy, or both. Thoughts from the far side of 40.
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